"davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com" (davesaddiction) 08/05/2019 at 14:21 • Filed to: None

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Awkward Office Interactions
.
Me: What’s goin’ on?
Him: Hey, how’s it goin’?
Me: It’s goin’...
[we walk past each other, and... end scene]

Tripper > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 08/05/2019 at 14:30

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#officelyfe

nerd_racing > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 08/05/2019 at 14:30

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Try this one:

Him: How’s it going? *as he keeps walking, not expecting a response*

Me: Super Shitty Actually.

Him: *keeps walking, no visible response* 

MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 08/05/2019 at 14:31

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Awkward? That sounds like perfection...I don’t actually want to know how it’s going, I’m just acknowledging your presence.

Nibby > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 08/05/2019 at 14:31

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WHAT’S GOIN’ ON?!

KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 08/05/2019 at 14:31

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Party-vi > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 08/05/2019 at 14:32

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*passing on the stairwell*

Them: Oh excuse me *polite smile*

Me: There’s no excuse for you

Them: *sensible chuckle*

DAWRX - The Herb Strikes Back > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 08/05/2019 at 14:32

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I usually hit em with this.

boredalways > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 08/05/2019 at 14:33

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Hate to break it to you but that's normal office behavior

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > boredalways 08/05/2019 at 14:35

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Very n ormal, and very awkward.

ranwhenparked > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 08/05/2019 at 14:36

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Me: good morning, how’s everything going?

Them: well, actually, we seem to be having trouble with the...

Me: that's super (walks into office, closes door)

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > nerd_racing 08/05/2019 at 14:37

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Should’ve followed him back to his office. 

Arrivederci > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 08/05/2019 at 14:38

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Heh. That’s why I always just do one of the following:

1) Small nod
2) Tight smile
3) “Good morning” or “Good afternoon”

Acknowledgement without engagement.

Tripper > MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s 08/05/2019 at 14:38

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I always stick to, “Hey, how are you?”. For that reason. I will also throw in the occasional “What it do, Nephew?” to the right person.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s 08/05/2019 at 14:40

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It’s fine. I cringed at my response, though. 

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Nibby 08/05/2019 at 14:40

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Nice. 

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time 08/05/2019 at 14:41

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Haha - with or without a head nod? 

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Party-vi 08/05/2019 at 14:41

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Well played. 

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > DAWRX - The Herb Strikes Back 08/05/2019 at 14:42

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KingT beat you to it!

MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 08/05/2019 at 14:42

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Lol...that’s why I usually just stick to “good morning/afternoon”

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time 08/05/2019 at 14:43

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*looks at ground

yep, you are correct.

KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 08/05/2019 at 14:44

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Yes

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Arrivederci 08/05/2019 at 14:49

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Yeah, that’s great for most people, but this was a guy I actually go to lunch with sometimes . We were just passed each other in the hallway, each attempting your “acknowledgement without engagement”, but with a little more friendliness... 

boredalways > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 08/05/2019 at 14:51

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Today is a perfect day to revisit "Office Space"

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s 08/05/2019 at 14:51

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Yeah, that’s great for random people, or for the first time you run into someone, but this is a guy that I actually get lunch with sometimes.

Casual acknowledgement fail!

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > boredalways 08/05/2019 at 14:52

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Such a great movie.

Thankfully my workplace is much more laid back. 

boredalways > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 08/05/2019 at 15:01

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You’re only safe if you have a red stapler. That way your coworkers know not to mess with you because you WILL BURN THE OFFICE DOWN!!!

farscythe - makin da cawfee! > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 08/05/2019 at 15:02

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most mornings mine are more like

co worker : good morning!

me : growls

me 20 minutes and a coffee later :.... morning

Textured Soy Protein > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 08/05/2019 at 15:23

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No.

The purpose of a question is to receive an answer.

The purpose of a greeting is to acknowledge another person.

Unless you specifically desire an answer in response to your greeting, g reetings shall never be issued in the form of a question.

Join my political party founded on this principle !

nerd_racing > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 08/05/2019 at 15:53

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It was the co owner of the company’s brother.  He’s a notorious stooge, so I didn’t push it. 

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > boredalways 08/05/2019 at 16:12

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My coworker has one. It was a gift. 

ttyymmnn > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 08/05/2019 at 16:42

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That reminds me of a joke.

********

What are the three stages of marital sex?

Stage 1: House Sex. That’s where you have sex in any room in the house.

Stage 2: Bedroom Sex. That’s where you only have sex in the bedroom.

Stage 3: Hallway Sex. That’s where you just  pass each other in the hallway and say, “Fuck you.”

Alfalfa > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 08/05/2019 at 17:14

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This is one of the nice things about working the least- staffed shift. I see almost no one.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > ttyymmnn 08/05/2019 at 22:13

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LOL - hope we never make it to stage 3!

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Textured Soy Protein 08/06/2019 at 09:02

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I’m in!

From now on, I will just say, “Greetings, fellow human...”

Tapas > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 08/06/2019 at 14:59

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Inject some flavor into mundane greetings.

Answer questions like “How are you?”, “ How are you doing?”, etc with -

1. Alright, I guess. Well, my wife has this goiter that is really bothering me - I mean should I - you know what? I need to discuss this at length. I’ll set up a meeting! *walk away*

2. AAAAAAAAABSOlutely average.

3. Great! Like a dog in dumpster!

4. Busy like a one legged man in an ass kicking contest.

5. Oh my life’s falling apart - you?

6 *Russian sounding gibberish*

VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > Textured Soy Protein 08/06/2019 at 15:09

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I am totally joining